Planning To Live With Author Heather Wardell and a Giveaway

They say that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but that's basically what I did when I saw the cover of Heather Wardell's newest novel, Planning to Live. You see, the description of the book on the back cover was all it took to pique my interest. Read for yourself:

Thirty-something Rhiannon is an obsessive planner and goal-setter, but somehow nothing she achieves ever seems good enough to her. Determined to lose forty pounds for her best friend's August wedding, Rhiannon flees her parents' house in a Christmas-day blizzard to avoid the temptation of all her favorite foods, but her car skids off the deserted road into a tree.

Unable to escape the car, with her leg trapped and bleeding and her cell phone out of reach, Rhiannon is at first certain she'll be rescued and writes notes to her friends and family to pass the time. As the weather cools and her condition deteriorates, though, she recognizes the possibility that her life might be over. Interspersed with increasingly desperate escape attempts, her letters become deeper and more heart-felt as she comes to see what really matters in life.

Pretty enticing, right? When Heather, a follower of this blog, offered to send me a complimentary copy of the book, I took her up on the offer immediately. The book arrived just days later and within 24 hours I finished reading the story. The heroine of the story, Rhiannon, is the type of woman that we'd all like as a BFF. Anyone who has struggled with weight loss will identify with her and the thoughts that she has during the hours that follow her car accident.

After reading the story I asked Heather if she'd be up for answering a few questions about the book. The interview follows:



Karen: The main character in your story, Rhiannon, has found quite a bit of success in her professional life and tends to be a perfectionist who plans every last detail of her life. Can you explain the reasons that would hold her back from acting on those plans?

Heather: In most cases Rhiannon does act on her plans, but where she doesn't I think it's because she's made those plans without giving a lot of thought to WHY she is making them.


She's been living on autopilot a lot of the time since the death of her fiancé a year ago, and she's doing what she's "supposed to do" but hasn't examined how she truly wants to live. Since she doesn't have the strong driving force of going after a goal that really matters to her, she ends up not being able to act on her plans the way she wants to.


It also doesn't help that even when she does act on a plan and reach it, she ends up not being satisfied with what she's achieved so she doesn't get the happiness of meeting a goal to push her on to the next goal. It's so important to let yourself feel that happiness. It can be difficult sometimes, but it's crucial. If life is just a constant rush to the next goal, what's the point?



Karen: I think that many women who are struggling with weight issues will be able to relate to Rhiannon’s story. Did you draw on any of your personal experiences when developing her character?

Heather: Very much so. Her obsession with exactly how many calories she ate, with knowing whether she spent 44 or 45 minutes on the treadmill, with the only definition of a healthy body being one at a certain weight... all of those have been issues for me in the past. While they still rear their ugly heads on occasion, writing this book made it clear to me that living like that isn't really living, and so now when I feel frustrated that my weight isn't where I want it to be I think of everything I can do in this body and it helps me to let the rest go.


I've run a marathon, five half marathons, and countless shorter races. Even with that training, I'm still 25 pounds over where I want to be. This used to depress me terribly, but writing Planning to Live helped me to get over it, and now I'm working hard to keep my focus on "the things I can do" and away from "scale says I'm worthless".


I continue to work at losing weight because I think being lighter will help me run better. I'm watching my food intake and considering whether the things I eat are good running fuel, but I will never again get into the "this food is so bad, I am a bad person for eating it" game. It doesn't help. It just makes you feel awful, which then makes you want comfort, which too often turns into a tub of ice cream.



Karen: Too often in works of fiction, overweight women are portrayed as the dateless best friend, the one you can always count on to be available at a moment’s notice. You chose to create a heroine who men find desirable regardless of her size. Talk about that a bit.

Heather: This is a fascinating question to me, because it never occurred to me not to have a desirable heroine. In fact, I'm not sure I could have made her undesirable. Rhiannon is so much more than her weight: she's smart, funny, driven, caring, recovering from a terrible tragedy but still moving forward in her life. I see her as someone I'd love to know and someone I'd probably want to date if I were a man. I think women too often assume that all men want "the model body" in their women, and I don't think that's remotely true. Sure, some men wouldn't want her because she's a size 16, but many would.



Karen: It’s been said that a person often needs to hit rock bottom before they face their problems head on. In Rhiannon’s case her rock bottom is being faced with the possibility of dying before she has realized some of her dreams. Do you think that a person has to go through a crisis before they can make progress towards realizing their dreams?

Heather: I don't think it's a requirement, but I do think it makes it easier in some ways. That dramatic "my life is changing forever" moment can be a watershed, a turning point that makes you handle your life differently from now on.


It often doesn't, though. A friend who's worked with cardiac patients says that even after massive heart attacks some of them don't stick to their new healthy diet and exercise plans. Changing your life is so unbelievably hard. Each action we take carves a tiny groove, and over time those grooves become ruts and we settle into them and can't get out.



Karen: What do you hope that readers struggling with weight issues will take away from reading Planning to Live?


Heather: I hope they will take the same thing that I came to understand while writing it: life is so much bigger than what you weigh. Eat healthy foods, because they make your body feel good. Exercise, because having energy and being able to do your daily activities without fatigue is wonderful. But do not get hung up on a specific number or a dream body type. Twenty pounds overweight with an amazing life beats skinny and depressed any day of the week.



How would you like a chance to read Planning to Live yourself? Heather has agreed to giveaway a copy to one lucky reader. Just leave a comment here and you'll be entered into the giveaway. You have until Sunday, October 3 at 7:00 PM EST to enter. The winner will be announced on Tuesday, October 4.

Can't wait to get your hands on Planning to Live? You can download the book for just .99 at Smashwords or Amazon (for the Kindle.) Paperback copies are also available on Amazon here.

The Best Tips for Those Just Starting Out

Do you think there's something wrong with my scale, it says I weigh "0"?

Those of you who have been reading for a while may know that one of my interests is interior design. I write a design blog and love reading about the latest trends in home design. This week one of my favorite design bloggers, Lakeitha from Home to Three Duncan Boys, shared her desire to drop some weight. Lakeitha's children are like stair steps, one born right on the heels of the next. Since her pregnancies were so close together, she wasn't able to drop the baby weight like she would have liked.

When Lakeitha asked her blogging friends for advice, it made me stop and think about what tips a newbie might benefit from hearing, especially new moms who may never have had an issue with weight before. I came up with a list of the three best tried and true tips that helped me succeed in losing the 50 lbs I gained with my first pregnancy (and helped prevent me from gaining that much with my second pregnancy!)

Do not bring junk food into the house. I repeat, do not buy any junk food and bring it home. Once it's in the house it will be screaming your name like a banshee. This includes anything that comes packaged in a cardboard box or a bag that makes a crunchy sound when you take it off the grocery store shelf. Other good indications that a food might not be for you is if it has a list of a zillion ingredients with lots of syllables or is a color that does not appear in nature. For instance, have you ever seen the color of Cheez Whiz in nature? I've never seen that particular shade on a trip to the botanical gardens.

It's not just street drugs that you should say no to!

Get some physical activity every day. Your lifestyle will determine the type of activity that will work best for you. If you work full time it might mean getting up earlier than usual to fit in a workout. If you are a busy SAHM, include the children in your workouts. When my children were babies that meant twice-a-day walks with the kiddies in the stroller. As they grew, playing outside together or letting them share in the yard work did nicely. (Check out this post on working out with your children.)
Whatever you choose, make it something that you enjoy. If you dread it, you will quit before you see results.

Well, the kids have smiles on their faces. That's a start.

Include the occasional treat, but make it for special occasions only. Treats then become associated with good times instead of an everyday occurrence. Use treats as a way of making good memories.





Plan ahead. When it comes to your meals, always have a plan. Busy families like Lakeitha's can count on having lots of curve balls thrown their way. You never know when a child is going to get sick or the car is going to break down. Things like preparing and freezing healthy dishes that can be pulled out when a minor crisis occurs can be the difference between getting a decent meal on the table or resorting to fast food take out. For more tips, check out this post on my kind of fast food.

via fastfoodcenter.com

Now that I've shared my top three, how about helping Lakeitha out by sharing your best tip or stopping by to offer her a little support and encouragement. You can find her here.

I'm Ridin' Solo

Life as of late has been incredibly hectic. One hour round-trip drives to the hospital to see my brother eats up a big part of the day. Throw in having to drive my son to school when he totaled his car and it felt like I was surgically connected to the driver's seat. Thankfully, we bought my son a new car last week so I can knock 2 hours of drive time off my daily to-do list! Unfortunately, cars don't come cheap, even used cars. Since part-time writing hasn't turned me into a millionaire yet, my contribution to paying for the car had to come in the form of sacrifices. I took a look at my monthly expenses to see where I could cut back to offset the unexpected cost of purchasing a new car. I hated to do it, but the first thing that had to go was personal training. :(

Having a personal trainer makes life easier for several reasons. First, because you pay for it, you are going to show up. Second, let's not kid ourselves, we all work a little harder when someone is watching. Third, since I shared my session with one of my best friends, it was both exercise and social hour for us. I really looked forward to my Wednesday morning sessions. Finally, a personal trainer can teach you the latest in exercise science and educate you on ways to prevent injury.

However, after over 9 months working with my trainer, Gregg, and a month working with one of the other trainers at the studio, Kathy, I am confident that I can handle working out solo for a while. I've learned a ton from Gregg about functional and core training and can incorporate many of the new exercises I learned from him into an at-home program. If I get stuck, I always have the at-home programs that Gregg created for me that I've used in the months since we started training together. Also, Gregg is just an e-mail away. As a matter of fact, he e-mailed me last week to let me know he knew I was going through a rough time and to contact him if I needed any help with my at-home routine.

Kathy taught me a great deal as well. Each week she varied the types of workouts that we'd do. She has a real knack for coming up with new ways to use equipment and she introduced me to TRX training. (If you've never tried it, give it a shot. It's very challenging!)

TRX Suspension Training

Source

I've been at this for a couple of weeks now and so far so good. As luck would have it, the lovely people of CSN Stores offered to let me review some of their fitness DVD's. I chose 4 DVD's, each a little different from the next, to provide me with some variety. (Each video is available at CSN Stores for under $12.) Since the weather will be changing in the next month or so, my morning bike rides may be coming to an end soon and I wanted to be proactive about finding an alternative form of cardio for the cooler months. As well, I've been wanting to try incorporating more yoga and pilates into my week.

The four titles I chose

If you are looking for a fun cardio workout, I'd highly recommend The Firm Cardio Party, my favorite of the four selections I made. It's a 40 minute workout, split up into 5 segments, each taught by a different Firm instructor.

Armed with the knowledge I gleaned over the past 9-10 months and the new DVD'S, I think riding solo is going to go just fine.

Just Call MeLittle Miss Sunshine

Remember my post last Tuesday about accentuating the positive? I want to explain why I wrote that post. You see, last Monday was a really awful day for me, but being a glass half full kind of person, that post was my way of trying to find a positive moment in an otherwise unpleasant day. It was my way of nudging those of you who recognize the Debbie's out there (or maybe the Debbie in the mirror) and letting them know that attitude is everything. Maybe, just maybe, someone would re-evaluate what constitutes a reason to complain and what is something that is in their control if they are willing to recognize the fact that they have the choice to act.

So today, Little Miss Sunshine (that would be me!) is going to tell you why I was so down on Monday and why I'm not going to let it get the best of me:

Problem: My son was in a car accident a week prior. He totaled his car. While we look for a new car I have to drive him to and from school 4 days each week, a total of 2 hours each day.

My attitude: He came out of that accident with only minor scrapes on his arms. If you saw the condition of that car you would never believe that no injuries occurred. (God bless the creator of the air bag!) A car can be replaced, a child can't. I get to spend 2 hours talking with my teenage son 4 days each week.



Problem: My oldest brother is in a hospice facility dying of lung cancer and his condition is declining on a regular basis. While visiting that day he was having difficulty with short term memory. He couldn't recall what you had said just seconds before. He couldn't remember his own name.

My Attitude: He has already lived 6 weeks longer than the best case scenario. He and I have become extremely close in the 10 months since his diagnosis. He has a wonderful support system of loving friends and family to provide comfort in his final days. The staff at the hospice facility is top notch, I can't say enough about the quality of care he is receiving. They are able to control his physical pain.


Problem: I found out Monday that my favorite uncle, who is like my second father, was just re-diagnosed with a brain tumor.

My Attitude: I am so fortunate that he was part of my life. He has lived for 71 years, had a loving marriage, has 3 wonderful children and 3 beautiful and healthy grandchildren who adore him. He had a successful career and has a multitude of friends and family members who are there for him. He led a full life.


In addition to those situations, on Monday I learned that:

-My niece, had two suitcases of her belongings stolen on her first day of college. This is a young lady who worked part time jobs, took every honors class available and exhausted every avenue to help her land the scholarships she would need to afford college.

-My in-laws had to unexpectedly put their dog to sleep.

-My son called an old friend to say hello and was informed that a mutual friend from their childhood has a substance abuse problem and his parents are trying to get him into a rehab facility. (Try explaining to a 19 year old boy that good kids from loving families can get caught up in bad situations and that even those who care the most can't always prevent them from making mistakes.)

Yes, Monday was a pretty rotten day. Really bad things happened to really good people. When you realize that there are people dealing with the knowledge that they will soon die or that there are loving, involved parents who have to wake up in the morning and wonder what they could have done differently to prevent their child from turning to drugs, your problems seem minor in comparison. I know that's how I feel. So when I see someone day after day after day complaining about their perceived problems, issues that are, in actuality, completely in their power to change, I can't empathize. If someone chooses again and again to buy junk food or not make time for exercise or eat an entire pan of brownies, I don't want to hear about those things. I choose not to follow those types of blogs. I'm sure there will be a few who won't want to follow mine given that they won't find sympathy from me. I'm okay with that, actually, I'm more than okay with that. I want to surround myself with positivity and find the good in even the worst situations. Can I get an "Amen, sister!"?



If you feel the same way that I do, may I suggest My Journey to Healthy Living written by Barbara. I love the way Barbara finds joy in the simple things that life has to offer. It's always uplifting to read her posts.