Finding a Support System That Works for You

Like so many others in the fitness/weight loss/wellness blogging community, I find that my physical health is intimately connected to my emotional health. When the sun is shining and my load of worries is light, working out and eating right seems to come naturally. However, when life is dealing me more than my fair share of burdens, mustering the energy to fix a grilled chicken salad or do a 3 mile power walk can feel like a colossal challenge. This is precisely when I need to draw on my support system to help me through.

In recent weeks I've not been experiencing a zest for working out the way I have in the past. As a matter of fact, I've only been averaging 2-3 workouts per week, a record low for me. Usually, giving my self a brief pep talk does the trick. These days, those pep talks have been turning into lengthy lectures! Being a firm believer in taking a proactive approach to problem solving, I have tried to use every coping strategy at my disposal. Personally, I find that when I'm down in the dumps, the main cause of my lack of motivation, what helps most is to talk about my issues with someone who will empathize and let me simply vent. Last week, I found out the hard way that the key is finding the right person to whom I can freely open up and find support.

On the heels of my brother's death, I experienced a loss of another kind, one that will affect the lives of many people who I care for deeply. I opened up to someone about the situation, clearly demonstrating my distress. After discussing the topic for a while I was surprised to hear the words, "Soooooo, what else is going on in your life?" Well, let me see, my brother died within the past month and I just finished explaining about a devastating incident that happened just days prior, that IS my life right now. I left feeling worse than I had when I arrived.

I understand that sometimes people aren't comfortable discussing problems or, perhaps, their perception of a situation is different than yours. I also understand that some individuals like to see the silver lining in every situation. I aspire to be that way myself. Admittedly, I lose patience when someone whines continually about a situation that is clearly within their power to improve. However, there are some instances that call for compassion, patience and an open ear, nothing more. I will use this as a learning moment. If I am ever in a position to provide support to someone in a hopeless situation I hope that I will convey that I am there for them in a way that provides comfort.

The moral of the story: Know who to reach out to depending on the situation you are in at the moment. Some friends can always make us laugh. Some friends listen without judgment. Some friends always know the right thing to say. But it is rare to find a support person who is all of those things wrapped up in one. Choose wisely, and if you don't find the support you need the first time, don't stop trying until you do.