Ma'am put down the waffle cone and no one gets hurt!Image from The Privatopia Papers
Who are the Health Police? They are those people who feel the need to tell you the calorie and fat content of everything that you are about to put into your mouth. They firmly believe that it is their civic duty to instruct you on the best way to nourish your body-whether you want to listen or not. They know best. These well-meaning Health Cops honestly believe that they are helping others, but not everyone wants their help. Sometimes you want to eat the other half of the bagel that they are advising wouldn't be a prudent move.
Members of the Health Police Department must meet certain basic requirements. They must have excellent health habits. They must regularly work out, eat clean 99.9% of the time, get to bed early....You name it, if it's healthy for you, they must do it. But no one needs to walk the health beat 24/7. Actually, wouldn't it be nice if budget cuts in the cities across the U.S. could eliminate the Health Police? Too bad these are volunteer positions.
Is there a health patrol officer in your life? Does he or she like to point out that it would be better if you asked for a take out container for half of your food immediately upon receiving your entree at a restaurant-like he or she does? Does your health cop explain why their method of exercise is superior to yours? Maybe you health officer reminds you how the caffeine in your coffee is robbing your body of the fluid that you need and suggests that you carry a bottle of water at all times. (Health Police always have an ample supply of water on hand.)
I'm not saying that the Health Police are bad people. They aren't. They have good hearts, but sometimes their constant advice can be seen as a bit judgmental. I may be guilty of doing a little policing from time to time, with my kids and husband especially. I mean well. I really do, but sometimes I catch myself getting a little overbearing. As much as I don't like to see people doing things that hurt their bodies, it's not my place to correct them. Earlier this week I had to restrain the inner Health Cop inside of me when an acquaintance was complaining to me about her lack of ability to jog, all the while smoking like a chimney. My father died of lung cancer, it tears me apart to see people smoke. "Keep your mouth closed, Karen. You are not her mother", I had to repeat over and over in my head. But the instinct was definitely there.
Do you ever find yourself getting the urge to join the Health Police Force? Do you have a friend or family member who has gone to the Health Police Academy? If so, what can be done to get the Police off the streets for good?
I was just about to write about this on my blog! Have a fried who is so extremely supportive, but gives me "shame on you" looks if I have oreos (small package) or potato chips. It's the reason I don't open up about my food issues!
ReplyDeleteI go too far with my hubby at times. Great reminder for me too!
I think we all have people in our lives who try to police our food (and other things) and I'm sure we are all guilty of paying that forward from time to time.
ReplyDeleteTruth is, no one knows exactly what is the right diet plan, etc. for another person. If it was one size fits all and easy we'd all be thin and there would be nothing to police.
oh oh... raiseshandslowly...
ReplyDeletei'm really bad with my mom. mainly because i can't stand her complaining about weight related issues. then I probably get on my bf, but I'm working on that too. i rarely give advice to people unless we are all open freely talking about food or they ask for it.
Ack....yeah I'm guilty of putting on my health police badge from time to time. I try to be aware of the behavior and back off. Funny thing is some people expect me to be the health police and will point out when I don't say something....my response is well you clearly didn't need me to say anything cause you already knew if you can point it out to me LOL! My students do this a lot, I think that is because my position includes a lot of those teachable moments where I need to point out behavior that might not be in their best interest...both health and not health related.
ReplyDeleteI have joined the force and I hate it!!!! All it does to me is become frustrated with other's choices...it is so annoying. And if it annoys me so much, I can't even think how others feel.
ReplyDeleteOne of my "victims" is my husband.
I do not do it out of hate, but out of love, but I think I exaggerate some times. I should share rather than educate or instruct.
Thank you for the posting! It was a reality check!
There are a group of health police at my gym. They don't have the opportunity to comment on my food so they make sure to comment on my attendance "We didn't see you on Monday...are you only coming 4x a week now?" or "Oh..you can't stay for the additional cardio? Hmmm, okay, well goodbye then..." The condescending tones, shaming glances and dismissive attitudes are all a bit much.
ReplyDeleteThey all have grown children and can spend hours each day at the gym, which is great, but I can't and I wish the judgements were a little more forgiving.
hanging my head down.... raising my hand. That would be ME! BUT, in my defense I was out to lunch with fellow Weight Watcher's and they were ordering CRAP! I had to step in and tell them how many points they were GOING to consume! lol I also left a similar comment on Jack Sh*t's blog about starbucks with friends- YIKES! lol
ReplyDeleteWith my kids, I feel like it's my job, though it's kind of walking on eggshells. I try to go for the positive (where's your fruit? Have some protein!) versus the negative (Stop eating pretzels!) I guess leading by example is the best way!
ReplyDeleteYes, I have one living with me now! I understand that it comes from a place of care and concern, but you're right--it also comes off judgmental and condescending. I don't like to have my every food choice analyzed, or hear comments about how we really need to get to the gym. If you want to go, go! Let me worry about me. (said in the nicest possible way, of course!)
ReplyDeleteI think I have been known to join the health police a time or two- most of the time I won't actually SAY anything but I definitely want to. It's just so hard when you've lived your whole life so unhealthily and then you find out that there are some easy choices that can make big changes you just want to share!
ReplyDeleteGood post!
I am married to a card carrying member of the health police. I finally had to sit down (a few times) and tell him that 'I do things my way, he does things his way'. I also have had to tell him that his policing makes me angry and frustrated which causes me to go eat whatever he tells me not to....simply out of spite!
ReplyDeleteI am SO guilty of the being the health police! But is so hard when my sister is talking about my nephew's asthma to NOT comment on the fact that they smoke around him! Not helping the kid!
ReplyDeleteI do have a freind who has made a pact with me that we will police each other- keep each other from snacking when we aren't hungry, or tell each other to go to the gym and stop being lazy. But this only works for us since we both mutually agreed to it.
I think it's very tempting to be the health police with the people that are closest to you. I guess one thing that we should all start asking ourselves is whether it will actually help them? If they are in a place to be receptive, it might be a time to offer some advice.
ReplyDeleteHowever, if they have made a choice to indulge in something against the laws of the health police, that is their choice to make.
I think I'm a member of the health police when it comes to my husband. And, yes, I do annoy him by being too pushy at times. There's a fine line between helping someone learn to eat healthy and shaming them, and I have to admit sometimes I cross it. I should remember more often how I feel when someone gives me guilt about food.
ReplyDeleteI was raised in a house with a Food Cop. Let me tell you...it can seriously be harmful especially to children. I have made it my mission to not do that to my kids ever.
ReplyDeleteThey are now teenagers. They eat all foods in moderation and are at a normal healthy weight. Biggest reward...they eat with no guilt. What a concept....wish I could do the same.
I used to be a serious member of the Health Police. In fact, I was their number one member. That was until I realized that being a "health police" only made for annoyed citizens that felt the urge to go against everything I said, just for spite (aka Nick!). I many times think things to myself like, "uhh, they shouldn't be eating that!" but no longer do I say anything, unless of course, they ask!
ReplyDeleteYour comment on my post was interesting. I didn't know Melissa was a lawyer. VERY interesting. I am annoyed now. I hope they lose.
My husband is a volunteer for the HP, lol! He tries not to say things to me, but I can tell he's just DYING to let me know how bad the cookie or extra helping is.
ReplyDeleteLike I wrote about in my Wednesday post - I don't generally say anything to other people about the healthiness of their foods unless they ask.
ReplyDeleteI know when I weighed 300 pounds that I didn't appreciate anyone pointing my flaws out to them and I assume most people don't!
I have to admit that I am the cops to my folks. My mom had lap band a few years ago and hardly eats and when she does it's a large Mick-Dee milkshake. She mentioned yesterday that she's gained a few lbs (probably 8 at the most - which she honestly needs). I just flat out said - you may want to consider leaving those shakes alone and eat a real meal. She has her reasons for drinking them - I know, but it's just calories chocked full of sugar.
ReplyDeleteBut I will continue to be the police for my parents' sake. I wish my grandma had one. She just lost her foot to diabetes.
This one gave me the LOL's.
ReplyDeleteI am actually a member of that Department HAHA. Although I have slacked off MAJORLY the past few months.
I wasn't a 'Bad Cop' though. Whenever people *would* ask me for advice I would tell them but then it would send me on an all out tirade of nutrition and health.
It's funny because now that I have 'slacked off' people are starting to get on to me for 'advice' and what not.
Ugh.
I've been guilty of this with my husband from time to time. Right now, we're both very consciously being supportive when we stop, think, and make the healthier choice, but letting each other make whatever decision without condemnation. We both get really stressed out about trying to eat better, get in better shape, or losing a ten pounds, and we're hard enough on ourselves without help. A lot of people trying to make lifestyle changes feel the same way, and people who aren't trying to change just don't want to hear it.
ReplyDeleteSo there's a lot of reminding myself to keep my mouth shut because I would not want to hear it either. If people bring up the conversation or talk about it, that's great. If they don't, they probably won't find anything I say on the topic remotely helpful.
I am so glad I don't have one of those health police types in my life! But I have run across a few of them... Obnoxious!!! LOL
ReplyDeleteHaha. I had to laugh--and, then, push away the return of annoyance.
ReplyDeleteJust this afternoon, while I was getting my hair cut, I was accosted by the health police. My hairdresser was telling me that her father goes on food fixations--like he'll eat a box of sugar free popsicles every day for a week or 1/2 a dozen apples a day.
I chimed in that I can get fixated on a particular food, too. Like lately I've been eating fresh pineapple and realixed that it's making my face break out....blah, blah
The woman next to me said, "What! Aren't you diabetic!!!! Pineapple is LOADED with sugar. You CAN'T EAT THAT!"
I was seriously annoyed. I told her---well never mind what I told her. Except that--for the record--1 cup of fresh pineapple has 17 net carbs and 75 cals. Perhaps I am a freak of nature, but it has never raised my glucose levels and has never required additional insulin to cover it.
Anyway, I thought of that incident as I read this blog. Like I said, at first I laughed. :} I am reminded that, perhaps, I need to refrain from being helpful, too. Social workers tend to be overly helpful... Hopefully, lesson learned.
Loved this post.
Deb
I can't say that I am a health police, as I make some poor choices too, but I try and try and give my children and hubby good choices in the house...Great post! My husband is supportive of me and helps once and a while, but knows most of the time it's better not to say anything...but when he does it makes me think twice!
ReplyDeleteI have become the health police in my house by saying things like "No,, you don't need soda'.
ReplyDeleteBut they are my kids and I am entitled. Where I am not entitled is with my husband, he is a big boy and I need to lay off the wrinkled nose over the amount of grease he uses to cook his food in....but on the other hand, don't b*tch and moan about how you don't understand why your pants won't zip and accuse a member of the health police of shrinking them... and the health police won't take out their tickets and write you up. lol.
My sister, who used to daily drink Route 66 sized Diet cokes, is getting bad in some respects in offering health advice now. And being annoyed by others, I try hard not to impart my knowledge to others unless asked.
ReplyDeleteOur children are OUR responsibility to bring to adulthood in as good as health as possible, so we are required to police their eating habits! ;-) Once they are of adult age, control is a dream. LOL But hubbies are not children, regardless of how often they act that way, so policing them is not allowed. Loving comments like "I'm a little concerned about your health and I would rather you were here with me in our old age. Can we start eating more healthy foods?" are allowed. Nagging is not.
Smoking around a child who has respiratory issues is absolutely fair game. I don't care who it is. I'll tell them they are an idiot. I have a son with a lung disease. Smoking around him is absolutely forbidden and watching him go through serious health issues, I have no tolerance whatsoever for people whose stupid, nasty habit may CAUSE their child's health issues. (My son's is genetic and not caused by anything environmental. When hubby and I smoked, we always did it outside, away from the kids.)
If I were you, I would freely share the information that your father died of lung cancer and you would hate to think of your friend going through that. Tell them you love them too much to stay silent.
I love your blog. I love that you talk about issues that make me think. I grew up with my Dad constantly nagging me (although he wouldn't change his unhealthy habits himself) and he'd weigh me constantly. It ended up causing a lot of damage, but I know he meant well. Honestly, now I would love to have the health police at my side. I love constructive criticism and I love when someone says something to me b/c I know that means they care. I am 300+lbs. I need that kind of support. It's when people stop giving you advice and constructive criticism that you need to be concerned...b/c then people have given up on you. Nagging and caring are two different things...and I also believe there is a time and a place. There are people who know how to do it tactfully and there are the ones that need duct tape put over their mouths. lol Good blog. :)
ReplyDelete